Suck it, Bell.

My internet has been all over the place for the last couple of months.

Working, then not.

Working quickly. Slowing down... Slowing... Not working.

Then eventually, it just stopped working.

After about a week of it not working, I called my service provider. Bell.

I found out I need a telephone line to have my internet work.

I haven't had my phone line for... two years now?

I don't need it. I have a cell phone. Why would I waste money on a phone bill that I don't often use? I wouldn't. So of course, I'm curious about why I need a phone line now, when I've had working internet for two years.

Well, I need a dummy line, dummy.

But wait, the question still stands, doesn't that mean you've had the dummy line for the two years it worked?
Apparently not.

I'm not sure the sense behind the whole thing, but the gist was, I was being fed a nice steamy plate of bullshit, and was expected to eat it. No thanks, Bell. No thanks.

So that happens. I call in, and they tell me some bullshit about this dry-loop and all that bullshit.
So whatever. I agree to have the technician come in and jizz all over my router.

They send me a new router, and I wait for him to come. I wait. He doesn't.
Dumbass showed up to the wrong address. So I'm frustrated. I hook up the router myself.

HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH. My internet works. I needed a technician to do something a monkey could -and did- do? Well, fuck that!

So I don't call back, I don't reschedule tech-boy coming in.

Give me three weeks to thoroughly enjoy this internet, and then, whoops! No internet!

Now, Bell has some bullshit page up, telling me I need to sign in to access my own internet.

What the actual fuck? 
Why do I need a password for my internet? I don't know my username and password!

Ring--ring. Hi Bell. What the fuck? What's up? I want my internet, thanks. (I may not have said exactly this.)

Well. We'll send in a technician

Will this ensure my internet? When can he come in?

Monday. 

Alright, well, I'll be waiting, then.

And I wanted to wait. But when I noticed that I was connected to the internet, I didn't understand.
They must have certain ports blocked, is what my final thought was.

So after a while of searching, I found that I could bypass this bullshit.. and here I am guys.

Yeah.

Fuck you, Bell. You can suck my big hairy dick. I'll grow it for ya.
And I'll be sure to imagine telling your technician that, tomorrow.

I won't actually say it. Because I'm a pussy.

I'll just imagine it.

Fuck you Bell.

Suck it.