Creating a Career out of Nothing

I like photography.

I also like music.

They're both equal passions.

Goddamn.

You surely see my dilemma here. My career, it's one or the other! How do I pick both?

I wake up with photography, and I fall asleep to music.

What do I do?

Well, my friend, I've decided to invent my vey own bullshit career.

I'll be a music photojournalist.

Whore myself out to some band who wants their pictures taken at live events, or in general.

Fuck yeah, girl.

I've got this down to a fine art now.

The one thing school taught me, is how to bullshit. I was able to bullshit my way through so many essays, you would have thought I was a mother fucking professional in every field available.

If you're nice, I'll teach you my fine art of bullshitting. Because that's what it is. An art so fine, you couldn't detect it in the best of stool samples, as the shit pours out of your mouth.

You could drop trou, take a dump in the middle of the floor, and everyone around you would think that you just exploded roses out of your asshole. Luscious red petals and that heavy, musky rosey smell.
No, sir, that's not shit. That's roses. That's right. I shit roses.

Don't fight it. Let the bullshit take you over. Don't fight it. Embrace it. Use it to your advantage, dude! Do you know the shit you can milk out of a talent so fine?

A lot. That's what.

So what's the moral of today's story?

I'm creating a career out of nothing.